Expendables review

Posted: August 26, 2010 by Flashbox in Movies

Note-I’m not going to mention anything about the plot, in a movie like the expendables,the plot doesn’t matter. The violence and explosions is all that counts!

Terry Crews is the MAN….PERIOD!Crews, who already reeks of awesomeness after staring in the hilarious Old Spice commercials, cemented himself as one of my all time hero’s in this movie. While he only gets around 10-15 minutes of screen time and maybe 10 lines of dialog, Crews and his rapid firing explosive shotgun steal the show in the expendables, providing some of the most memorable explosions/action in the film.

While Crews is the man i’ll be referencing in all future Expendables related conversations, Stone Cold Steve Austin also deserves an honorable mention for his work as hard ass tough guy. Stone Cold looks HUGE in the film and even Stallone, who is almost sickeningly jacked in the movie, looks small in comparison to the one time ‘Bionic redneck’. The ass kicking Stone cold delivers to Stallone is a highlight, especially the sick spear that almost breaks Stallone in half- and did break his neck in real life!

The rest of the expendables all do their parts well but don’t impress as much as Crews and Austin. Stallone plays Stallone, Statham plays Statham and Li plays Li, which is no bad thing as I am a fan of each guy. Dolph Lundgren does a good job in his role as the loose cannon but you can clearly see why he never became as big a star as Stallone,Willis or Schwarzenegger.

Speaking of those 3 living legends, the much hyped scene in which they appear on screen together for the first time is a HUGE letdown. I knew it could never live up to the hype but the conversation between the 3 heavyweights seems forced and the jokes fall flat apart from one at the end. I was not a happy camper.

Actually, the Expendables is let down only when the actors (beside Mickey Rourke,a man I could listen to for hours!), are let talk. I know these guys aren’t known for their acting abilities but its really exposed in the Expendables as there is far too much talking. Has Stallone forgotten that to make an awesome action movie you don’t need words- remember Rambo 4! Randy Couture stands out as the worst actor in the group and in my opinion should never be allowed in front of a camera again-seriously, when he opens his mouth, he comes across as a fucking tool.

While The Expendables doesn’t dethrone Rambo 4 as my favorite action film, if not film, of all time, it does come close. When the Expendables are left to blow shit up and kick some ass, they don’t dissapoint. the hand to hand combat is incredible, with all the men using a great mix of MMA moves to break the bad guys bones. The knife fighting and explosions will also satisfy all you gore hounds out there as men explode and limbs are chopped off in style!

So while the movie mightn’t match Rambo 4 in terms of epicness or goriness, it is the first film to give it a run for it’s money. If your a fan of classic 80’s action flicks or simply want to watch stuff get blown up and people get beat up for an hour and a half, then be sure to check the Expendables out.

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